“Good News, Everyone!” Card of the week 24th Feb, 2014

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Fort those who don’t speak German, the jist of this week’s Kipper card,  ‘Angenehmer Brief’ is best expressed by Futurama’s  Professor Farnsworth (try looking at the above cartoon and not imagining his voice),

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Angenehmer Brief (a nice letter)  is about good news.   Like just about everything announced by Professor Farnsworth though, how good this news is depends on a lot, and most importantly on your attitude in receiving.

The lady in the image is pleased as punch at whatever her butler Albrecht is bringing on a golden plate. Take her lead this week and enjoy the news coming your way. Traditionally a pleasant letter/good news can be documents, letters, notes, acceptance, congratulations, documents and correspondence indicating that a bit of good Providence is on the way, or that progress is happening with the big thing you’re endeavouring.   See the irises on the borders of the card?  This flower (the fleur-de-lis of the French Royal family) is blooming on this card and gives another hint at positive news in the symbolic language of flowers;  it means good news, good luck, hope, valor, congratulation, high esteem, faith, wisdom, promises in love and cherished friendship.

“Huzzah!” Professor Farnsworth might exclaim.  There’s one thing though – oracular guidance like this sometimes makes me a little itchy because it flirts with those dreaded W words (worry, waiting, wondering, who, when, whatnot, etc.) the passive approach of waiting for things to happen to us.  Let all of those worries go.  This is not a time to be passive.   In that light, and because I believe all good Intuitive wisdom is designed to help us be ACTIVE and to BE the agent of change in our lives, here’s a little homework for you this week:

Be Professor Farnsworth.   Create, announce and trend your OWN Good News.  Smile   Be creative. Think about the idea of correspondence too.   There’s someone out there who could use a little bit of good news this week.  Who is it?  Who needs a note?   And no, I don’t mean an angry letter to your miserable neighbour or an 11 page letter to the person you are romantically attached to but who isn’t paying attention to you,  but rather some GOOD news/correspondence that you could bring to someone else’s life this week.    What good “news” could a stranger need?

Maybe, like a family member of mine, you’ll create good news  not only because you can share the fact that you are making crafts for a fundraiser, but also in the good news you’re giving to someone who is sick or needy and who needs a reminder of love.   Doing something that makes you proud of yourself is “Good news” to share with others and it’s good news to whoever receives the fruit of your effort.    Maybe you’ll create a little bit of good news by working on that THING you feel is near and dear to you or you’ll create some good news to share with Aunt Martha because you kicked butt at your job this week.     No need to roll out the parchment paper and ink-blotters and your finest stationary (though that would be fun) – fire up your email, or jot something simple down.     Good news is up to you, and when you give, you attract good news in return.

Have a great week!

 

About the deck:  The Kipper cards or “Kipperkarten” are a German system of 36 oracle cards dating back to the 19th Century. They are very different from the tarot but are similar to, but unique from, French “Lenormand” cards. Like them, they are designed to be read in groups and pairings or in a grand-tableaux using all the cards.  (but, as I always tell my students, invent your OWN way to use them)   This Deck is “Mystisches Kipperkarten/Mystical Kipper” by Regula Elizabeth Fiecher and as illustrated by the wonderful, whimsical  Urban Trosch in beautiful egg-tempera paintings.  

Expectation vs. Expectancy Card of the Week 17 February 2014

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A million or so years ago, (the 80’s)  I  cut my intuitive teeth doing readings with runes and Tarot cards, the symbolism of which I dedicated many nerdy hours researching.    Not long after, my first experience with “oracle cards” occurred in a New Age bookstore. I was buying my high-school crush a Christmas present (a book about Gandhi, but this was before Xbox and PlayStation existed and he was a geek).     I was  uncomfortable with the slow, trippy, bongo-laden New-Age music playing in the background and the thick incense crawling up my nose but I was intrigued by a little brass bowl on the counter that had tiny little cards in it.  No deep esoteric meaning, no arcane symbolism – just little cartoon angels and calligraphic words.  Surely it wasn’t a serious source of enlightenment!

The Haight Ashbury-era hippy lady behind the counter said, “Pick one!”        I couldn’t have been more out of place in this store; my jacket had a Dead Kennedy’s logo and I was wearing a dog collar, but I was game and I reached in the bowl.   I don’t remember what the angel message was, but in my memory  it was something about flexibility or letting yourself fit in in a place you didn’t think you belong.  To an ostracized, high-IQ nerd who was uncomfortable with empathic and intuitive abilities, this made a lot of sense and I was surprised.

This week’s card from that same deck speaks to us about a similar theme, dealing with our expectations and moving from a place of EXPECTATIONS (I don’t fit in, the only hippy that doesn’t creep me out is Neil on the Young Ones, etc.)  and into EXPECTANCY  (where you look forward to the gift that is about to be delivered to you.)

What’s the difference between EXPECTATIONS and EXPECTANCY? They’re both ways that we frame reality:

EXPECTATIONS are demands we place on ourselves,  the outside world and the people in it.  They are our assumptions about life and our idea about what would meet our needs, our vision of what we think MUST be.   Expectations are specific, fearful and attempt to rectify the needs, losses and pain within us.   Expectations form disappointment when they inevitably aren’t met.

EXPECTANCY is a state of readiness, a willingness to receive, a positive orientation that assumes that whatever is coming towards us, we can use it in some way.   Expectancy is not attached to what we think SHOULD be, but rather embraces whatever IS and looks forward to it.   Expectancy always forms fulfillment.  *See the little angel in the picture?  She’s opening a present!  THE PRESENT is the present.

To more clearly see the difference, imagine a woman who wants a specific present from her guy.  She knows what size she wants, the colour,  and if she doesn’t get exactly what she wants, she’ll be heartbroken.   She spends her time stressing herself (and him) out in an effort to get exactly what she thinks she needs.     Now imagine a kid of Christmas morning, 5 years old and with no idea about what mom or Santa should get him.  He sees those presents laid out and he doesn’t know what is in all of them, but he’s looking forward to ripping into them and receiving something great.  With no preconceived notion in his mind about what the gift is, his mindset is, “THIS IS GOING TO BE AWESOME!”    and he is fulfilled in what he gets.

Relationship psychologist Dr. Chuck Spezzano writes in his book “Wholeheartedness”  about expectation:

Expectation and heartbreak go hand in hand. Expectations are subtle, or not so subtle, demands that come from our needs. Expectations will create problems sooner or later, because if our partner bows to them and accedes to our needs, it won’t satisfy us, and our partner will become more unattractive because they are acting from pressure, rather than choice. If our partner does not meet our needs it will frustrate us, disappoint us, or break our heart. We can be disappointed, for different reasons, whether someone does, or does not, meet our needs. Expectations put demands and stress on others, and no matter how well people attempt to satisfy us, it is never enough. The extent to which we feel stress by others’ demands is both to the extent we put those demands on ourself, and to the extent we put those demands on others. Expectations are compensations against our needs, our fear, and our losses. They are pictures about how others and life should be to make up for what was and what is missing in our life. Unfortunately, the more we expect, the less we are able to receive and to be satisfied.

This week, let yourself go outside of your expectations.  Go into that metaphorical New Age Bookstore with your Ramones T-Shirt on, don’t ASSUME or demand what life has to offer within and get something great out of the adventure.    If you’re expecting a lot out of yourself and have expectations of what YOU need to be, or if you have a lot of expectations about what another person should be doing or saying,  then it’s time to let go.  Allow yourself to look forward to whatever is coming your way.   If you didn’t feel like you needed to control how you were receiving recognition, love and attention, then you might be rewarded in ways you can’t even begin to imagine from that vantage point of “must”…

you might just be surprised!

 

About this deck:    The Original Angel Cards: Inspirations and Meditations    by Kathy Tyler and Joy Drake, published by Allegro Corporation, are a simple set of cards that were originally part of a board game.   Timeless and classic, this little deck can offer a one-word inspiration or guidance for the day, week or month.  You can use an online version of the Angel cards  on their Innerlinks site.

My Valentine

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Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!   To you, I send my love and my hope for your well-being, a box of dark chocolate, and an ever-flowing fountain of self-worth and self love!

Alas, it’s not just a day for chocolate covered bacon and shoe-boxes stuffed with tiny paper Valentines.   Today is a day that makes may of us despair. Therapists, coaches, psychics and astrologers brace for the onslaught of people bereft of love and who are heart-broken.  This is a day that makes the world sit up and take notice of “love” and its presence or absence.

But I promise you, cross my heart, that  Valentine’s Day is JUST a day.  It’s no different than ANY other.  The only thing that makes it different is our stories about it.  There’s nothing different about you today than there was 2 Tuesdays ago when you were NOT crying about your friend’s upcoming engagement or your aunt’s 4th marriage.     You are able to open to love and it can flood into your life if you remember these important things today:

* Love is what you ARE not something you RECEIVE like a chocolate box, a diamond or a nice card. These are only gestures of many emotions – some love, some not.   Love is something that you ARE and something that you GIVE to those around you through your loving choices and your intention to know and accept others.  No-one can GIVE you love and have it fulfill you.  No, not even in a Hermès bag or a pink Cadillac.   Others can share this love with you, and do gestures that remind you of it,  but you can’t feel it if you don’t have a firm grasp on your own self love.   Without this, you could receive a 100 chocolates and 24 roses and still feel unworthy, insecure, or boil with “it isn’t good enough!”

* February 14th is just an IDEA — not a “forever”.      We tend to look at “markers” with huge expectations, thinking that this day represents all of eternity.  Whatever expectations you have about today, secretly they’re about much MORE than today.   But guess what?   You will always be changing, growing and moving forward.  Life doesn’t begin and end on Valentine’s day.   With the power of your heart and your mind, you can create the path ahead of you and share the seeds of love and light.     Be here right now, not in what was, not in what could be.  Right here is exactly where you should be.

* If this is a day about love, then let it be about LOVE.  Pain is not love, it’s fear.  And with love we can overcome any fear.  We have so many relationships that touch our lives. Moms, sisters, brothers, lovers, bosses and friends.  Today, touch them from the LOVE side of your heart.  Keep your heart open and willing to open up to others and to be generous to them. Communicate your heart, let yourself be real, let your vulnerability open the roughened and toughed mollusk shell of a closed heart.   Set petty disappointments and expectations aside and see others as innocent and deserving of love. See YOURSELF that way too.

If I had one Valentine’s Day wish, it would be for you to see the love and beauty  that you truly ARE and can GIVE

Have a happy V-day, everybody!   Check these 21 Awkward Valentine’s Day Cards For Your Confusing Modern Relationship’s from huffingtonpost  for a chuckle!