Aww, what a great message for Valentine’s Day! A celebration of commitment and LOVE for the week! Who doesn’t want love to stay true, to stand by our side on the long and curious path of life. The big “C” COMMITMENT has great cachet in the world of romance fiction, and self help books. According to the world at large; we’re looking for commitment. After all, we’re taught that commitment is the way in which love finds us. We learn that it is something other people give to us and we can’t really rise up into the pink, fluffy, heart-shaped clouds of love without it.
While true love and commitment go hand in hand, in reality, it may be just a little bit different than what we’ve always been taught. Commitment isn’t just a word, a “get”, a thing to WIN or wear on your finger… it’s a state to BE and to give others. Commitment doesn’t quit.
This week’s energy is all about going the full distance, staying true, and not doing anything half arsed. We’re invited to bring our full intention and conviction to the people and things that are most important to us right here and now. Here are just some of many ideas on how to celebrate commitment and love this week (if you skip all the others, the first on the list is a MUST):
1) COMMIT TO YOU Give yourself the gift of love and commitment. Celebrate those forces within yourself. Allow yourself to be the FIRST recipient of these gifts because without them, it’s impossible to truly love or commit to anything or anyone else. Give yourself kindness, acceptance, and belief in yourself. Give yourself TIME. Commit to finding the things that make your soul full, which make your heart smile, which feel like “purpose” to you. (Without that ability to connect to what makes YOU happy, you’ll forever be looking for others to make you happy; an impossible order to fill). Commit to whatever mountain climbing, institute building, opera singing, song learning, 100 sit up challenges or tasks that can shape your pride in yourself and participate in the world. Commit to yourself for a full day. Buy yourself a dozen roses.
2) COMMIT TO YOUR PARTNER Do you sometimes spend more time wanting to GET something from your sweetheart than you do enjoying them? This week, instead of trying to get that awesome date, that ring, that perfect box of chocolate, that attention or that love, instead focus on the commitment and love that you’re giving. Give them your presence, your kindness, your humour, your love, and your honestly. Not as a new technique to “win” their love, mind you… but for REAL. See what happens when you do. I bet you anything you will feel more commitment from them too!
3) COMMIT TO YOUR TASK Have you started a project or gotten some major soul-nudges and hints in January that you need to act on or face? Are there fields of fire you know you’re ready to walk through? This is the time to commit to the path forward no matter what feelings of uncertainty lie in the way, no matter how much your identity may seem to be changing or crumbling as the new thing takes shape. Commit to doing what you set out to do.
4) COMMIT TO COMING FORWARD Have you been harbouring tumultuous feelings of secret love like an emo pack mule? If you’ve ever found yourself thinking or saying, “I’ve loved him/her from afar.. but I’m not sure he/she knows!” then you probably are. Instead of slogging this unrequited love around with you for the rest of your days, you could commit to clearly communicate your feelings and be loving. Being loving means that you’re willing to hear (and accept) what the other person says. If those feelings are mutual, hooray! You can now start down the path of a romantic connection. If they’re NOT, you can now commit to a new path of discovering the many people in this world who could love you back.
5) COMMIT TO THE RIGHT THINGS Are you committing a lot of your time, thoughts and emotional energy to someone who is not able to be a true partner or who is not connected to you as you want? Does it hurt instead of feeling mutual? It could be because they left or are leaving, or perhaps because you just met and don’t know each other well, or have not yet mutually decided to be a committed couple. Be honest. If you answered yes, then your commitment needs some fine-tuning. Chances are, some of that commitment and intensity you think you’re offering could actually be need and fear. There are so many more worthy things to commit your energy towards this week. (see #1) LOVE is within you and around you if you give yourself a chance to change your perspective and let go.
6) COMMIT TO YOUR OPEN HEART If you’re single and looking for partnership and new friends, commit to the process. It isn’t always instant and sometimes it takes time to get in the groove of being our authentic and fulfilled selves in the whirly world of online dating, mixers and speed dating. Don’t give up. If you feel like cashing in your profile, sitting at home and pulling the covers up over your head, don’t. That doesn’t mean that you’ll be an active searcher crawling through the underbrush trying to spear love like a huntress…. instead , it’s more about the internal intention, “I don’t give up on myself, I don’t give up on other people. I do believe in love and my capacity to love.” There’s no such thing as “committing to find love” –but there IS such a thing as committing to your open heart.
Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone! And speaking of Valentine’s Day, no matter how romantic you are or how much importance you tie to this day, as I always say — It’s just another day. It really doesn’t mean the world. Use this day to focus on the bubbly pink hue of love in your OWN heart, but don’t take it too seriously.
About this deck: The Love Pack, by psychologist Chuck Spezzano is an 84 card deck and book set published by C&B. Cute, modern illustrations, outline simple but powerful concepts of relating.