Friday Toon Butterfly Effect 11.20.2015

butterflyeffect

 

Have you ever heard of the butterfly effect?   This theory of inter-relatedness guided my cartoon illustration this week.    It says that the flapping wings of a single butterfly impacts the weather patterns of the entire world, that the tiniest change can have a big influence.     Is it any wonder we’re scared of metamorphosis and change?

We’re scared that we’ll flap our wing the wrong way and set some horrible typhoon in motion.  But by far the greatest fear we have is not being able to change at all, or that we’ll wake up another day,  month or year older and be unchanged.   We fear the insanity of doing the same thing over and over and expecting things to be different.

In this big month theme of “getting things done” and embracing change… it’s the perfect time to think of our relationship to change itself and cope with the main obstacles to creating new habits.

 

CHANGE IS ALWAYS POSSIBLE

Change is always possible because change is always happening.  This is the most important rule to remember of all.  It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard growing up ( a leopard doesn’t change its spots,  people don’t change, etc.)    you CAN change.   Honestly, I used to believe these negative statements myself, – but I’ve seen the dynamic and mind-blowing changes that I and others underwent through the process of growth for myself.     I’ve seen people who are terrified to be communicative and open become fantastic communicators,  I’ve seen people who used to be terrified, needy and attached in their relationships emerge as butterflies in solid, long term, trusting bonds with themselves and others.    I’ve seen such fantastic changes in myself that it would take months to write them all down.

Phobias, depression, fears,  mistakes or errors… are all changeable.  Believe it!

It doesn’t matter if a change is small (making a new habit stick)  or huge  (finding love)…. change is always possible. The next time you doubt this rule, think of an example from your own life of a way in which you have changed already.    Chances are, the you you are today is wiser than an old version of you.    Once you wore diapers and couldn’t find your feet;  now you can use a cell phone and make risotto!    See?  You’ve already changed … and that’s proof that it is not only possible but MANDATORY in this life.

so how do we get in a better relationship with change?

FIND WHERE CHANGE BEGINS

Change begins with you and depends on you.     Most of us get tricked into thinking that change somehow starts  OUTSIDE of us.  We wait for someone to change, for something to change, for circumstances to finally make something “happen” that we think we want.   We think that if that special circumstance were to happen  (house will sell, lotto number will hit, hunky guy will call, someone will see things the “right” way ) that THEN we’d have positive changes.

That’s not really how it works though.  Change does NOT exist in just in the OUTSIDE world… it begins in the  INSIDE WORLD.  And that’s the only place it every *can* exist.   Woah. What a concept.  Don’t believe me?     Think of the person who gets all the things that they think they want .. fame, celebrity, money … and yet they’re still miserable.  How come?  Because change that happens outside of us doesn’t really make an impact on us unless our inside story agrees with that  reality.     Even if we get the guy, or the nose job, if our inner perception is one of unhappiness, the outside circumstance will never matter.

Always remember that change begins with you.  This is true whether your issue is a relationship, or something that involves others.  The amount of change you see in the world is equal to your willingness to see things in a different way and to commit to new thoughts and choices to create the kind of life you wish to live.

CHANGE BUILDS UP OVER TIME

We grow up believing that one BIG move changes our lives.      Nope!  Change energy is the same no matter what form it takes:  events can happen quickly  (blink of an eye!)   but lasting change evolves through lots of cumulative creations and new daily habits and routines.        That does NOT mean that positive changes take many years or that there’s always “hard work” to do.        In fact, change happens at an equal level to how willing we are.  That means that the more we commit to making changes and the more we trust ourselves in that process, the faster we will see results.

Change requires bravery and pushing ourselves for sure, but when we practice and make small steps every day, pretty soon those changes get easier and easier and we see more and more progress.   Imagine learning to run a marathon. At first it might seem hard to run more than a few minutes at a time, but as you consistently expand on the plan and make adjustments daily, pretty soon five minutes becomes ten and then the miles themselves start to fly by with ease.     Or imagine we meet someone great – then what? Then we have to learn to communicate and connect.   There’s always an adventure or lesson to learn – change never ends.

Our fearful ego asks,  “When does the good stuff finally arrive?”  like somehow magically it all happens at once and we just get all that messy, scary “unknowns” over with.    But change happens in an accumulation of habits, choices and actions no matter how fast events transpire.

Remind yourself that all the great works of art, relationships, businesses, and things of beauty in the world were ultimately the products of evolution, persistence and building even when miracles were delivered or inspiration hit like lightning.

 
1) Don’t give up on making new habits if you don’t get a “Reward” right away or in the way you think you should when you make your first few attempts do do something differently.    For example;   don’t go to a fun class and then despair because you didn’t meet a new man and then give up and quit the class.  Don’t stop taking care of your diet and exercise because you didn’t lose your goal weight in one day.

2) If you are frustrated and meeting obstacles, review your intentions   — Are you doing something for YOURSELF or are you doing things in the hopes it will change other people or force an external change?    If you are taking that class for YOU, then you don’t care who you meet and if you are changing your diet for your health then you don’t mind if you didn’t lose today’s weight goal because your intention is  on the big picture.

3) Don’t wait for other people, places or things to line up and make you happy.  Ask yourself what kind of day your soul wants to live out… and get busy doing small steps to make that a reality TODAY.     That way,  when external circumstances change, you won’t depend on them for your happiness.

4) Change builds up and accumulates, getting bigger and strong and more effective.  Small steps lead to BIG changes.  You can choose to see small steps and consistent routines your friends.   Consistency matters in all human habits and rewiring ourselves to do new routines.

5) Identify the positive changes you wish to make and make SPECIFIC plans to act them out during your day.  Don’t wait for something to “Finally arrive” make it arrive.  If you feel frustrated, it could be that your intention is about something EXTERNAL instead of internal.  Shift your intention and energy to your inner world.  For example… if you want loving communication, instead of waiting for someone to communicate kindly to you… how are YOU acting on this in your inner world?  Are you speaking lovingly to yourself?    Others?  Are you communicating with your partner in a loving clear way?  What SPECIFIC plans could you make to communicate lovingly today?

6)  When it comes to attracting supporters and things to you, those same specific plans are important.  Think about ways in which you are watering and nourishing habits and rituals every day that make this possible in practical reality.  For example, if you want to create financial success, are you  making a specific plan  to care for your finances?  Are you identifying what you can do better tomorrow?  Are you creating generous acts that you can do today?  Are you supporting others?

7)   The more specific you get, the more you can focus on small steps and goals. The more you feel as though you are acting and committing to small acts of bravery, the more you trust yourself to roll with change.

8) When you change within, and focus on your growth and watering your garden, your faith in Spirit grows and your faith in yourself grows. When that happens, just like in the BUTTERFLY EFFECT, you have a really profound effect on all the people you meet or interact with.   Small steps create endless ripples of change for the world!

You are Not Afraid; Card of the Week 30th March 2015

card 3.30.2015

This week I’m using one of my favourite “light” decks, because it was a gift and because I’m looking forward to something light after a couple of weeks of all the astrological (and otherwise) intensity.  It’s time for family celebrations and time off, which I’m looking forward to!    What a great little reminder this card is.

We see the image of tiny David facing down big-behemoth galoot  Goliath with only his sling and stone to protect him.  We can’t even see the top of the giant’s head, so we can’t even see everything we’re dealing with.  (Familiar feeling lately, no?)     Poor David, he doesn’t seem to be such a mighty adversary for a giant, but in the end (according to the story) he wings that rock into Goliath’s forehead, defeats his foe and lops off Goliath’s head.  It’s no wonder this story has come to represent “the underdog succeeding in spite of tough odds.”

In the picture, David seems to be scratching his head, “How can I possibly do this?”  — but… you know what?  HE CAN and you can. No matter what’s been up… cosmically speaking… or how the odds seemed to be stacked during this time of big change,  – you can handle this!  YOU ARE NOT AFRAID, reminds the card.   Within us all, we have a boundless centre core that knows that no matter what is happening around us, we are calm, we are accomplished and we have the stones (no pun intended) to defeat any adversary or foe that has arisen.  Something inside you knows that it is all going to be ok, that even though we might be concerned about “well what will happen?  What if it’s the worst that I imagine?” or we just don’t see how everything is unfolding yet,  there’s something within you that is perfectly ok with what IS.

YOU are NOT AFRAID.  You might be the underdog, you might even feel a little scared here and there… but deep down, you’re not afraid. Whatever gigantic undertaking has begun, whatever tremendous change is afoot, whatever big project or business venture  (remember last week’s theme of growth and business growth?)  or whatever you’re working on — you are not afraid because where you are is just right.  (Proof in the pudding? You’re here, right?)    You’ve got this thang!    I bet, though, that you don’t just have a sling of rocks. I bet you have all kinds of other tools, friends, and a big posse of characters who want to help you get where you’re going!

 

Have a wonderful week, everyone!

About this deck:     Sonia Choquette’s  “THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE ORACLE” cards (charmingly illustrated by ??? unknown) published by Hay House  has  62 cards.   These are very “cute” cards and messages that have a childlike quality and feel and would be wonderful for kids and kids-at-heart.

Will Bad Things Happen to Me? FAQ Friday the 13th Edition

Friday 13 meme

When I was a kid, I decided that Friday the 13th was a lucky, fun, special day. I figured if we thought black cats were scary but they were considered lucky in Japan and other parts of the world, I thought I could just make my own kind of luck.  All the talk of  “don’t walk under a ladder” and “uh oh, better watch out, it’s Friday the 13th!”  just made me anxious instead of safer.       Two friends of mine did the same thing growing up and now we send each other Friday the 13th greetings.

Fear, bad luck … these are all manifestations of our human need to figure things out. Our communal and mutual worrying speaks of a fear we all universally have: Will bad things happen to me? And how can I prevent this?   Sometimes our society is more amped up about this than others. If you’re old enough to remember all the water-hording and bank withdrawals that happened before Y2k (when planes were supposed to fall out of the sky and society collapse into chaos) you know what I’m talking about.  (in case you weren’t there… nothing happened!)

In this crazy March Madness energy I’ve had more anxious questions and emails that usual about worry and more worry.  On forums I’ve read astrologers talking about the “accursed degree 29th Pisces” (others say it’s really positive!)  coming in the eclipse  and read people fretting over earthquakes.   I’ve seen several  people posting about how Stephen Hawking warned that instability in a Higgs boson could cause the END OF THE UNIVERSE, and therefore it’s time to freak out if Cern’s large hadron collider gets fired up on schedule towards the end of March.

Deep breath, everyone. The Universe is still going to be here for a long long time (Stephen Hawking actually said that a particle accelerator the size of the Earth would be needed to create such an event – something that will probably be too expensive for anyone to ever make).   Besides that, let’s get real … what is all this worry actually doing to us?   What exactly are we trying to control when we fear dramatic events and disasters?      Now you might be chuckling to yourself that anyone would fear the actual end of the known universe,  but I can guarantee that you worry about “Will bad things happen to me?” at least sometimes. It’s only human.   Whether you’re scared that your chicken salad went bad, that a loved one will get sick, or your boyfriend could leave, or that you’ll lose your job or be alone forever – it’s all normal.

Yes, sometimes bad things happen. Sometimes it feels good to hear that when the world tells us it’s so NOT OK.   Plate tectonics create earthquakes,  and low atmospheric pressure and water vapour can whip into a hurricane that decimates a city.  With the power of choice or illness, people do sketchy, sudden and crazy things.  Unfair things happen, sad things.  Anyone who has been on this planet long enough knows that life does not always seem  fair or fun based on our personal perspectives and needs. We won’t get into the philosophical debates of  things happening “for a reason” or the balance of light and dark and how chaos and destruction,as in nature,  is part of life’s cycle… we’re just speaking of the reality that events we perceive of as bad things DO happen in every life.

We have two choices about how to handle this fact: do the best we can, try  to create our own luck wherever possible, take responsibility for our mission to take care of our world and each other… or we run around like Chicken Little screaming “The sky is falling!” and trying to get one up on the disasters that could happen. Constantly worrying, “what if” about everything in our lives big and small, always trying to peek around corners doesn’t help us deal with things and it doesn’t help us be where we need to be.

Obviously, worry is designed to be beneficial and to help us. It helps us plan for things and be realistic in assessing our needs and future needs. This human gift helps us survive and create.  But unfettered worry is neither helpful nor creative. At some point we have to accept and let go of the fact that we CANNOT (and won’t!) be able to see everything or control everything…. and that that’s OK and all part of the game too!

The biggest mistake people make about intuition is that somehow our intuition is there to always save us from surprise.  A psychic, or our gut instincts, or tarot cards can keep us safe from disaster.   Nope!  Intuition doesn’t tell you exactly what will HAPPEN, that’s up to you– it gives you insight about your present role. Whether you believe this is a soul journey and its all part of a learning adventure your Higher Self/Spirit knows,  or if you believe that stuff just happens –   life will throw curveballs out sometimes.  Would knowing or control even benefit us anyway?

Even if you believe in the concept of Spirit Guides, those Guardian Angels won’t remove the lesson for you.  Have you heard the saying, “God only knows?”  Face it, some truly awesome, wonderful and growth-inducing things in life come wearing a disguise of pain  and  we would NOT want to go through them, or we’d try to arm ourselves against change  if we knew what we were getting into with the limits of our current intellect.  A  friend of mine said, “If I’d had known how hard it is to be a mom, I might not have done it – but I wouldn’t have known how wonderful it is to be a mom -it’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”

So stop. Even if you COULD know everything, you wouldn’t want to.  In my experience it’s better to use the brain power spent excessive worrying for other things.   The best way to thrive and survive is not  to endlessly anticipate … but to BE HERE NOW creating the path that carries you into a safe and successful future.  Use your intuition to help you deal with the fact that nobody can tell you what will HAPPEN, that’s up to you!  Use it to help you see possibilities and influences right here and now.  Fears will come up sometimes and seem really “real” but that doesn’t mean they are.  Like the y2k scare,  most of the time things aren’t as bad as our brains say they are.

Today, pet the nearest black cat,  watch some Jason Voorhees movies, get comfy knowing that we’re all in the unknown and  we don’t know whether the next day is a black hole supernova day or a special landslide of cake, cookies and cash… but that we CAN handle whatever comes our way.   Make the most of today – now is the only moment we ever really truly have.  Make it special and lucky Smile